Mackinac Island Memories

Eleven thousand years ago in prehistoric times, not long after the retreat of the last glacier, aboriginal natives stood on the mainland shore, looked out over the Straits between two newly formed great lakes and saw an island with unusually high bluffs. They thought it resembled a large reptile and called it mish-la-mack-in-naw or big turtle. When they explored it, they marveled at its unusual natural limestone formations and buried their dead in the Island's caves. Last weekend (September 25 and 26), I tramped up to Arch Rock on Mackinac Island at dawn with 13 other women, to watch the sun rise on the water.

Although at first I struggled to leave my warm bed, I was glad I made the trip as we stood on the lookout deck (top right in the photo) and our weekend host, Darlene Sowa, struck Tibetan sound bells together and called out to the four winds. It was a moving experience, but not the only one I was to enjoy that weekend!

Before I left for the trip, my stylist Daniel Zavala at Azenza Salon opined that Mackinac was nice to visit every 10 years or so, "But I can only eat so much fudge." I myself griped about the drive, trying to figure out an alternative to the 4 and 1/2 hour road trip. Little did I know that the drive itself would be a delight! Listening to crunchy tunes on the radio, I cruised along and marveled at the changing colors all along the tree-lined highway. It reminded me of something a friend said was his favorite pasttime--chasing leaves (i.e., following the changing fall colors as the Michigan landscape transforms before your eyes).

I haven't been to Mackinac since I was a kid, when we rented a bicycle built for two and pedaled around the island, arriving back just in time to catch the boat to the mainland. I had no idea what to expect. I signed up for Darlene's weekend adventure after seeing it promoted in the Body, Mind, Spirit Guide, but by the time it arrived, I remembered it as being a "listening workshop"!

I did do a lot of listening, but a lot of talking too as we explored the woods of Mackinac, and visited Sugar Loaf "Mountain," a relatively small but quite tall piece of limestone with nooks, crannies, and caves in it. This was an area where the local indian tribe commended the spirits of their dead, and it is a very special place.

We walked The Labyrinth at the Grand Hotel, had a pampering night with foot rubs, shoulder massages, and Reiki. And lots of laughter. Though few of us knew any of the other participants, by the end of the weekend we became fast friends with promises to stay in touch and to join together, spiritually and in person, to promote peace and well-being for our beloved Mother Earth and all of her inhabitants.

At the B & B Chateau Lorraine where we stayed, there was a piano with a plaque which proudly proclaimed it to be the one used in the movie "Somewhere in Time." Next to the plaque on top of the piano was the photograph of a gorgeous women in period dress. I thought it was the first owner of Chateau Lorraine, but in fact it was Jane Seymour! Gosh, she is beautiful.

Together the 14 of us explored the woods as well as the town. All weekend long we heard the clip-clop of horses hooves (the only transportation on the island is horse and carriage, horseback, or bicycle). Some of us were going through traumatic times, others were there just for a little R & R. Yet each one of us seemed to get just what we needed from the adventure.

For women going through divorce, I highly recommend this kind of getaway. You will return renewed, refreshed, and all the wiser from the insights you've gained on the trip, at a surprisingly affordable price.

2009 Home Buyer Credit Extension and Related Divorce Issues

Update on that new home buyer credit, set to expire on December 1, 2009. http://www.lancasterlawblog.com/2009/09/articles/real-estate/2009-home-buyer-credit-extension-and-related-divorce-issues/

More cool stuff: India vs US Economies - A visual comparison. See how we measure up. http://www.mint.com/blog/trends/india-vs-the-us-a-visual-comparison/

International Day of Peace

September 21st is the International Day of Peace. The United Nations' International Day of Peace - marked every year on September 21 - is a global holiday when individuals, communities, nations and governments highlight efforts to end conflict and promote peace. On Saturday, September 19th, I attended an event sponsored by One Peace, "Creating a World That Works for All." The keynote speaker, Dr. Sharif Abdullah, discussed his book "Creating a World that Works for All." There were videos, music, and poetry to celebrate the UN International Day of Peace. Insightful meditations created peace in our hearts and minds, and (almost) everyone wore logo-free whites to symbolize unity.

I also purchased a DVD there, titled "One," which was a movie produced by three amateurs from Michigan. Almost as a lark, the three bought a video camera, came up with a list of 20 questions, and went around the country asking both sages and ordinary citizens these questions. The answers were insightful, and thought-provoking.

From all of this, I was reminded of the fact that God is in all of us. Not only does that make ME very important; it makes YOU very important, too. So whether I agree with you or not, I must honor your essence, which is God. Seen from this viewpoint, it becomes very difficult to be uncaring about another's suffering or to dismiss them as worthless. Each one of us is a different reflection of God. Isn't that the recurring theme in this amazing world in which we live? No two snowflakes are alike, nor two blades of grass, or two flowers. There is no identical "two" of anything. What a wonderment! Each one of us is different and unique, and brings something different to share.

In seeking to create peace in the world, I think the words of Mahatma Gandhi, quoted at the beginning of "One," sum it up:

"If you cannot find God in the next person you meet, You do not need to look any further." ~Mahatma Gandhi

May peace be with you.

Wedding Bash for Brian and Kelly!

Tomorrow I'm having a barbecue in honor of my former clerk, Brian O'Flynn, and his new wife, Kelly. Brian was my "right hand man" for 6 years and the best clerk anyone could ever hope to have. Always early, never sick, he was (is) responsible, upbeat, a problem-solver, and can dance a mean Irish jig. When he left Lady4Justice to work for the government, I'll admit I cried! He is a wonderful person, and he deserves nothing but happiness and success in his life.

Luckily, he found the perfect girl. Sweet, smart, talented, and totally in love with him! Ah, if everyone was as ideally suited as these two are, we'd be out of business. Be that as it may, tomorrow some of the many people who love them both will be gathering on my deck to celebrate their recent marriage. They had their own reception, but I was out of town and couldn't attend. I decided to throw a second bash for them, so I can personally wish them the best.

Here's to you, Brian and Kelly: May your lives be blessed with every joy that Life has to offer!

One Peace - Don't You Dare Miss It!

I just came from the One Peace concert tonight at Unity Livonia Church. I didn't know any of the performers, but the program was uplifting and inspiring. As frosting on my "peace" of cake, I saw an old friend; Dr. Sharif Abdullah, author of Creating a World That Works For All and founder of the Commonway Institute. I met him at the conference for the International Alliance of Holistic Lawyers in North Carolina, three years ago. He was a fascinating speaker there, awakening in us all a desire to honor and protect our planet.

He is going to be the keynote speaker at the Saturday, Sept. 19th One Peace Event, "Creating a World that Works for All." Held at Schoolcraft College, this uplifting program also offers other presenters, as well as performers and videoclips that are sure to be fantastic. The program is one that will remain with you long after the event has ended. The program starts at 1 p.m. and lasts until 4 p.m. If you can find a way to be there, do it!

There are many reasons for us all to begin coming together to preserve our sacred home; planet Earth, and to start thinking of ourselves as citizens of a global community. Especially at this challenging moment in our country's history, the time is ripe for change. If you find your life lacks a certain purpose and direction, you may find it here. It can't hurt to try.

Can Children of Divorce Have A Happy Marriage?

Thought provoking article...

http://www.momlogic.com/2009/09/can_children_of_divorced_parents_have_happy_marriages.php

Give Peace A Chance

This is a message from a friend. I'll be attending; hope to see you there as well.

"Dear Friends and Beloveds!

Let's come together in PEACE for the cause of PEACE. The more of us that come together in PEACE, the bigger our PEACE WAVES will travel outward. I will be at both events, God willing, and hope to see you there!

May you be at PEACE wherever you are,
Denise"

This week we will be coming together in two exciting ways to celebrate United Nations International Day of Peace:

Thursday, Sept. 17th One Peace Concert Fundraiser
Unity of Livonia

Browse the tables at 7 pm. Concert starts at 7:30 pm.
Join us for an evening of FUN as local artists share their talents.
You might even know some of the performers!

Saturday, Sept. 19th One Peace Event, "Creating a World that Works for All."
Schoolcraft College

This uplifting program with a variety of presenters, performers and videoclips is sure to be fantastic, and one that will remain with you long after the event has ended.
Suggested attire: logo-free whites
Seats are limited so reserve your seats online at http://www.onepeace.us/

Please join us! Bring a friend! Thank you for your support!

Fearing Divorce, Mom Finds Inner Frugalista

http://ow.ly/owkG Great article for moms, in or out of divorce.

Royal Oak: Jewel in SE Michigan

In the past couple of years I've become a real cheerleader for Michigan, as I grow more and more aware of all the great things we've got going. Just this week, however, I realized there's a true gem I've neglected to mention in my accolades - Royal Oak.

Last year, I spent a lot of time in Colorado, under less than happy circumstances (my younger sister's passing). The bright spot of all my trips there, however, was Pearl Street in Boulder. I spent much of my free time there; eating at Sunflower (a gourmet vegetarian restaurant), perusing the shops like Now and Zen, and finding cool stuff in all the hippie stores -like a scarf with jingling gold coins that tied around my hips. My favorite place was a coffee shop called The Laughing Goat, which I initially visited because in the Chinese horoscope I am a goat, and returned to often because of their world famous cappuccino with rosettes drawn into the foam. (Ah, the memories!) They had poetry readings there, and I remember one night when I mapped out my entire winning strategy for the trial in my sister's case.

But after all this time, I am thrilled to find that Pearl Street, or its near equivalent, is right here in my own backyard: Main Street in Royal Oak! For those of us who love beautiful things yet are still firmly based in our hippie roots, Main Street is the best.

For years I've enjoyed dining in places like Little Tree or Katana in Royal Oak, but it wasn't until I started a muscle fusion class (torture!) at the World Gym that I began to discover just how cool this street really is. Being a die hard Starbucks fan, I walked down there to get a cappuccino after my class. (It is very good there, but sadly, no match for The Laughing Goat.) On my way back, I noticed a very neat little store selling sexy Ed Hardy shirts and right next to it, a health food store filled with so many treasures you could spend the whole day there exploring the possibilities! I went inside, planning to get Nori for my cat and leaving with a bagful of things.

There are outdoor cafes all down the block, where a host of people are sitting and talking, often with a dog or two. On a bench in front of the library, someone I know puts on mini-concerts with his friend. If you're feeling lonely and want to meet someone new, just go there on Wednesday night (if you're my age) or Thursday night, if you're my kids' age. Wednesday is cruiser night, and Thursday is crotch rocket night. Men are lined up down the block, showing off their pride and joy. I'm not a huge motorcycle fan myself, but some of these bikes are just unbelievable! Obviously their owners love them, and the variety is unlike anything I've ever seen.

One street west of Main is Washington, which also has a plethoria of interesting shops. One, called Sole Sisters, has a sign on their window proclaiming that they were named Number One in Channel Four's "4 the Best" online voting contest. (Come to think of it, there's a store called Sole Sisters on Pearl Street, too.) I really have only scratched the service of this fascinating section of town, but one thing is for sure. No matter what mood you're in when you get there, by the time you leave Royal Oak you'll be feeling great! Check it out yourself and see what I mean.

Ten Rules for Men Who Marry Women with Children

http://bit.ly/NmQIO Good advice from Dr. Jeannette Lofas on how to successfully navigate these uncharted waters.

Back to School: How To Help Your Kids Stay on Top

Back to school time is here! Here's a link to help your kids stay on top of their academic subjects: http://om.ly/IqhS

Single Parent Dating, A Package Deal

With the rising rates of divorce, it is common to find yourself dating again as a single parent. Being a single parent who is dating again is not always due to divorce, but no matter the reason it can be daunting. Dating can be tricky as it is, but being a single parent, and having to start dating again has its own set of trials and rewards. The trials you face as a single parent are very similar to those anyone who is dating will face, on steroids!

For example, you will have the same insecurities, the same worries, and the same level of difficulty or ease of attracting members of the opposite sex. However, as a single parent your insecurities now include the insecurities of your children, and fears and worry about not only how you feel about someone but how your children feel as well. Even more challenging, now it is not just you the person has to be attracted to, but your child or children as well, (at least, they must be okay with you having a child or children).

As a single parent who is dating you face the dilemma of knowing when to introduce your dates to your children. This can be a real challenge because sometimes it is too much too soon, while other times your date may feel like something is wrong because you have not introduced them yet. Each person's experience is different, but what matters most is how you feel. If you want your kids to meet all of your dates, great. If you only want them to meet the ones you are serious about, that is fine too. You have to evaluate how your children are going to respond to your dates, and be the gatekeeper for when they should meet. A lot depends on the exercise of your good judgment.

As a single parent who is dating, you also have the trial of explaining your choices to your children. Many times children either do not understand or do not want to understand why you are dating again. It does not matter if your child is a teen, a toddler, or an adult! It can be tough to explain your choices to them. In some cases they do not have the emotional capacity to understand why you are with someone other than their mommy or daddy. In other cases they simply resent you for leaving, or for moving on. They may fear that your rejection of their other parent is a rejection of them, and consequently resist your forming a new relationship. The difficulty of this situation will vary based on your children, the time frame, and your situation. For example, if you had a messy divorce, and your teenage child is having a hard time coping with it, and you start dating a week after it is final, they may respond by acting out and making life difficult.

However, if your spouse were to pass away, and a year or so later you decide to date again, they may be far more understanding. Your child or children do not have to like your choices, but it is always a good idea to try and help them understand, or at least respect that it is your choice to make.

The most important fact to remember with single parent dating is that it's a package deal. Your new partner must love you, and love (or being willing to accept) your children. And your kids, while they may not be overjoyed, must at least accept your choice. Otherwise, they will make sure that it doesn't work. Sometimes, moving on from an unhappy marriage to a new, blended family can be out of the frying pan into the fire. So be sure to take your time in moving into a new, long-term relationship.

Ten Signs Your Spouse Might Be Planning to Divorce You

1. When they start having their mail sent to the office.
2. When they spend more time looking at porn than wanting to have sex with you.
3. When the fighting stops because they don't even want to bother; the "quiet before the storm."
4. When they start to spend more and more time away from home.
5. When they begin to have friends you've never met.
6. When they start sleeping in another room, or ask you to.
7. When they become secretive about money, and/or start squirreling it away.
8. When they stop wanting to do things with you.
9. When you start noticing the same number showing up on the cell phone bill, over and over.
10. When the credit card shows purchases for rooms, dinners, or gifts that you know nothing about.