http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/signsyourmarriageisover/tp/signsofdivorce.htm
Interesting article on signs that your marriage is over. If you have some or all of these in your marriage then run don't walk to the marriage counselor, or contact us immediately. We can't heal your marriage, but if it's over we can help you end it in a respectful, cost-effective way.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Simple Solutions
Yesterday was a red letter date for me: I moved the cat food dish.
What? you ask. Is that a sentence from a child’s reader? Maybe. It’s also a simple solution to a large problem that has plagued me for quite some time.
Everybody who reads this column knows I have cats; three darling little “angels of cuteness,” as I call them. I keep their food and water in a place in the kitchen that is part of the main traffic pattern in the house. As a result, visitors often come and kick the dishes over, spilling their contents across the floor.
Time after time, I have cleaned up the mess after someone, (and you people know who you are), has walked right into what is in plain view. I have never uttered a word of complaint? Why? ‘Cuz I’m nice, that’s why. And I don’t like conflict. So I just swallowed my feelings, and I bought a kiosk that held the two dishes in place. “At last, I thought, this will keep the klutzes from smashing into the cat dishes!”
No such luck. The klutzes kick the kiosk, knocking both the food and water out at once. Again, and again, and again and again.
They are always sorry. They always do it again.
Klutziness has ruled my life, and I just realized that I have had a low grade “mad” going about it for, like, two years! Isn’t that dumb?
I thought so. And then, yesterday, I had a brainstorm: I decided to move the kiosk to a location that is off the beaten path, still available to the angels of cuteness, but not accessible to the clueless denizens who assault it every day. (Heaven bless them). So many times, I have cleaned up after some guileless (mindless)… person, who had no idea he had done something to offend me. And now to find out that the clueless person, was actually… me!
What amazing benefits come to us when we decide to bless ourselves with personal action!
As soon as I moved the kiosk, I noticed how much easier it was to reach the cappuccino in the cupboard above it, without stepping around the dishes. I observed how quickly I could access the cling wrap in the drawer behind, without squeezing in to get there. In short, as soon as I eliminated the problem with this simple change, life got much, much better on a variety of fronts.
Is there a cat dish in your life? Some pet peeve you harbor that you are actually creating yourself? Think about it. Although it’s simple, it may not be obvious (until after you make the change, of course). On a conscious level we may seem to be the innocent “victim” of others’ behavior. But in truth, we are totally responsible for everything that happens in our lives.
Have you ever been in a rush to get somewhere, and then been frustrated at the slow drivers who keep you from getting where you need to go, on time? I have. The real problem, of course, is leaving without enough time to allow for slowdowns, traffic jams, and the like. If we did that, we would just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Everything in our lives serves some purpose. For me, the cat food dish may have been my subconscious way of weeding out the “unacceptable” people (“If you can’t even notice a dish that’s right in your way, you can’t be that sharp.”); or maybe it let me feel superior to those without this minimal awareness of their surroundings.
None of this was obvious to me on a conscious level, of course. It was just a source of great annoyance, as I wondered how anyone (who claimed to be worthy of my company) could fail to see such a large dish, time and again. But now that I’ve eliminated the problem, I have to wonder how I could have failed to see such a simple solution, until now.
In fact, the cat dish saga is becoming a major epiphany for me. I have begun to see more and more circumstances in which I feel anger or frustration, which I created myself, without even realizing it. I “set myself up.” In these exciting and challenging times, it’s important to eliminate areas of needless frustration so we that can focus our energies on things like the global reinvention that is happening all around us.
If you find yourself in a particular situation that seems to occur again and again in your life, which causes you upset, it’s time to start looking for the “cat dish” solution. Don’t criticize yourself. You are not a victim, and you are not a fool. You created this problem for a reason. The Universe will reveal it to you, and then, suddenly, the solution will be obvious. You will derive the benefit of your problem, and then free yourself up from needless aggravation to move on to bigger and better things.
For me, guess what? The person that always walked into the cat dish is not here anymore. As it turns out, he was unconscious of a great number of things that were simply too important to overlook. Do you see? As you take control of your life, the people that serve your highest good either adjust, or they move on. The key is to respect the fact that you are the creator of your own challenges, for your own reasons. Once you grasp that truth, and take action, you will instantly come into your power.
What? you ask. Is that a sentence from a child’s reader? Maybe. It’s also a simple solution to a large problem that has plagued me for quite some time.
Everybody who reads this column knows I have cats; three darling little “angels of cuteness,” as I call them. I keep their food and water in a place in the kitchen that is part of the main traffic pattern in the house. As a result, visitors often come and kick the dishes over, spilling their contents across the floor.
Time after time, I have cleaned up the mess after someone, (and you people know who you are), has walked right into what is in plain view. I have never uttered a word of complaint? Why? ‘Cuz I’m nice, that’s why. And I don’t like conflict. So I just swallowed my feelings, and I bought a kiosk that held the two dishes in place. “At last, I thought, this will keep the klutzes from smashing into the cat dishes!”
No such luck. The klutzes kick the kiosk, knocking both the food and water out at once. Again, and again, and again and again.
They are always sorry. They always do it again.
Klutziness has ruled my life, and I just realized that I have had a low grade “mad” going about it for, like, two years! Isn’t that dumb?
I thought so. And then, yesterday, I had a brainstorm: I decided to move the kiosk to a location that is off the beaten path, still available to the angels of cuteness, but not accessible to the clueless denizens who assault it every day. (Heaven bless them). So many times, I have cleaned up after some guileless (mindless)… person, who had no idea he had done something to offend me. And now to find out that the clueless person, was actually… me!
What amazing benefits come to us when we decide to bless ourselves with personal action!
As soon as I moved the kiosk, I noticed how much easier it was to reach the cappuccino in the cupboard above it, without stepping around the dishes. I observed how quickly I could access the cling wrap in the drawer behind, without squeezing in to get there. In short, as soon as I eliminated the problem with this simple change, life got much, much better on a variety of fronts.
Is there a cat dish in your life? Some pet peeve you harbor that you are actually creating yourself? Think about it. Although it’s simple, it may not be obvious (until after you make the change, of course). On a conscious level we may seem to be the innocent “victim” of others’ behavior. But in truth, we are totally responsible for everything that happens in our lives.
Have you ever been in a rush to get somewhere, and then been frustrated at the slow drivers who keep you from getting where you need to go, on time? I have. The real problem, of course, is leaving without enough time to allow for slowdowns, traffic jams, and the like. If we did that, we would just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Everything in our lives serves some purpose. For me, the cat food dish may have been my subconscious way of weeding out the “unacceptable” people (“If you can’t even notice a dish that’s right in your way, you can’t be that sharp.”); or maybe it let me feel superior to those without this minimal awareness of their surroundings.
None of this was obvious to me on a conscious level, of course. It was just a source of great annoyance, as I wondered how anyone (who claimed to be worthy of my company) could fail to see such a large dish, time and again. But now that I’ve eliminated the problem, I have to wonder how I could have failed to see such a simple solution, until now.
In fact, the cat dish saga is becoming a major epiphany for me. I have begun to see more and more circumstances in which I feel anger or frustration, which I created myself, without even realizing it. I “set myself up.” In these exciting and challenging times, it’s important to eliminate areas of needless frustration so we that can focus our energies on things like the global reinvention that is happening all around us.
If you find yourself in a particular situation that seems to occur again and again in your life, which causes you upset, it’s time to start looking for the “cat dish” solution. Don’t criticize yourself. You are not a victim, and you are not a fool. You created this problem for a reason. The Universe will reveal it to you, and then, suddenly, the solution will be obvious. You will derive the benefit of your problem, and then free yourself up from needless aggravation to move on to bigger and better things.
For me, guess what? The person that always walked into the cat dish is not here anymore. As it turns out, he was unconscious of a great number of things that were simply too important to overlook. Do you see? As you take control of your life, the people that serve your highest good either adjust, or they move on. The key is to respect the fact that you are the creator of your own challenges, for your own reasons. Once you grasp that truth, and take action, you will instantly come into your power.
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