Remember to Chill

OK, I will admit it if you will: I have forgotten the names of people while I was talking to them! I have lost my car keys, misplaced my glasses and forgotten why I walked into a room.

How about you? Does it seem like your memory is playing tricks on you as you age? Well, there are reasons for that and very few of these reasons are related to diseases such as dementia and Alzheimer’s.

As a straight-A student back in college, I would pore over my study notes until they were etched into my brain, just before a test. It was almost like cheating. I would study right up until a few hours before the exam, then go in and take the test. The notes were so clear in my head that I could literally go through the pages and find the correct answer. I took that ability for granted, until the end of last year.

In December 2009, I began noticing that I had trouble remembering things. This caused me some alarm, and I began a quest to improve my short term memory. Where else but Google, of course! I found nuritional supplements that allegedly increased oxygen to the brain; a major cause of memory loss, and also discovered a site which proclaimed it was a "Virtual Mental Gymnasium" - My Brain Trainer (http://www.mybraintrainer.com/).

Both were helpful, especially My Brain Trainer. The site offers free exercises that test your brain's age, among other things. I became a huge fan, and would start each day doing the "brain age" exercise until my brain tested at a mere 21 years old. I also took the nutritional supplements religiously.

Nevertheless, there were times when I played the Memory Game on My Brain Trainer and felt despair. The Memory Game has 3 different levels; beginner, intermediate, and advanced. The beginner level, for example, has 16 pictures of animals (8 matches), which it displays for a short period of time. The pictures then disappear, and the goal is to remember where the matches are. Time after time, I was frustrated at the number of tries it took me to get them all. As the pictures disappeared, so did my memory of where they were!

Then at the end of March, I went to visit my friends in Japan. Such wonderful friends they are! They had everything planned for me, and took care of all the arrangements. The only things on my "to do" list were showing up on time for a tour, or deciding where I wanted to shop that day.

But the best thing of all was how loving and accepting my friends were of me! Never mind that Americans are quite a different lot than Japanese, in so many ways. They loved being with me, and I loved being with them. Although in general I lead a very pleasant life, I can remember going to bed at night in Japan, and just feeling pure happiness.

One night in Hong Kong, I played the Memory Game on my laptop, just for the heck of it. To my astonishment, my memory had vastly improved! And that's when I learned the real cause of memory loss - stress.

Stress kills your memory. The stress system is designed to ensure survival. It helps us fight off an attacking dog or flee from a snarling bear. As important as that is, however, we humans do more each day than merely survive. Stress releases cortisol in the brain, and that can lead to a myriad of different problems for us. If we want to have a good, healthy memory, we need to do all we can to reduce the need for fight or flight stress responses.

Not easy in this modern world of increasing challenges, but essential. Interestingly, when I first returned from Japan my memory quiz scores had improved by 30%. But as time marched on and I got caught up in the ups and downs of Life, I saw my scores return to their former levels. I noticed that if I am in the middle of a quiz and hear a distracting noise, my scores drop even further.

We're all in this world together, so I imagine I am not alone in this problem. And unfortunately, we are not always surrounded by loving friends who appreciate us. Instead we often feel surrounded by nothing but problems.

But there are things we can do to chill out in the midst of the maelstrom. Taking a nap in the afternoon while listening to soft music, if you can do it, is a great way to shift gears and leave the tension behind. Watching a comedy is another. So is petting a dog or cat (unconditional love is good for the soul).

The most effective way of all, however, is to remember to stay present. To be in the moment, not regretting the past or worrying about the future, is the best way to eliminate stress. The next time you feel stressed, remember to ask yourself, "What is lacking in this moment?"

Usually, nothing. It's just that our minds have run away with us. Sometimes we are so caught up in our minds that we don't even realize where we are.

As one person, we can't change the world. But we can change the world within. And when we do, we can begin to remember what it feels like to be at peace. We can begin to remember.

Is Less Really More?

" In 1845, Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) quit work at his Dad's pencil factory in Concord, Massachusetts and moved to Walden Pond, where he remained for two and a half years, building a small cabin in deep woods and undertaking an experiment in solitary living..." Thoreau's cabin cost him under $30 to build, (today's cost: about $700)

In 1854, he published "Walden," a famous work, considered by some to be practical philosophy, a "how-to" for alternative living, an atheistical guide for the perplexed, or just natural history. Although virtually unnoticed for 60 years, it came in time to be judged the finest example of writing in America, not only at home, but in Europe where it is even more highly regarded.

To some of us, myself included, this seems like a quaint but unrealistic way to live. Yet, as more and more of us are living longer and longer, the trend is clearly toward simplicity. So what's wrong with living simply and not having to buy the latest bling?

Nothing, according to an article, "The Leap to Cheap," I just read in the July/August AARP (yes, that's right. AARP. They have a great magazine.) Written by self-proclaimed cheapskate, Jeff Yeager, the author rode his 30-year-old bicycle across the country to interview people who are living "alternative" lifestyles.

By "alternative," he means, making due with less, anti-consumerism types who wash their own dishes instead of using a dishwasher (to save water and energy), whose children delight in finding their prom dress for $12.50 at the thrift store, and who love to go out shopping...so they can laugh at the foolish things other people spend their money on. In short, people whom I spent most of my life thinking of as weird.

For example, I remember a friend of mine, who loved to go shopping at a place she called "Valu Valage" (i.e., value village). A former judge whose father was a doctor, it wasn't for lack of cash that she bought on the cheap. But I didn't understand that at the time. I went with her once, and cringed as she pored over pre-worn outfits, looking for her daughter's homecoming dress. I was so shocked I ended up giving her a gold-sequinned Oleg Casini dress I'd worn just once, for her daughter to have. Just so she wouldn't buy resale.

But that's the old way of thinking. Now, buying resale is where it's at. To me, such things reminded me of my lower-middle class upbringing, of poverty. Saving pennies, doing without and such, not me! Interestingly, though, when the 2008 stock market crash wreaked havoc on a stalled economy, many of us began to downsize and in the process re-discovered our lives. That is, our family and friends.

In the AARP article, the author interviewed a family of former high rollers, who now revel in the wealth of their family connections. The husband, formerly a high-level executive, quit his corporate job a decade ago and started a home inspection business with his wife. They typically earn $80,000 a year and a few years back moved from their 8,000 square foot house to a home one/third that size.

"Moving made us realize how much we owned that wasn't being used and wasn't necssary," says the wife. When they considered how much most of us Americans have compared to the rest of the world, they were embarassed.

After reading this article, I began to understand and appreciate the trend toward down-sizing and simplicity. It makes a lot of sense. We are all (hopefully!) living longer, healthier lives. If we are going to be around a long time, we need to start living smarter. I mean, simpler, and enjoy the dailly blessings we are surrounded with every day.