"The whole moon and the whole sky Are reflected in one dewdrop on the grass."
~Dogen Zenji
He seemed nice enough. Attentive, articulate, and definitely interested. Then I got into his car, and gulped. Papers everywhere. Junk in the back. And he drove it like he was on the last leg of his final journey: right into the ground, without the slightest thought of maintenance or care. Soon thereafter, it died an untimely death.
If you’re dating someone new and are trying to predict your future together, take a look at how they treat their car. You may wonder, “What does how he treats a hunk of metal have to do with how he will treat me, a human being?” A lot, actually.
T. Harv Eker, author of Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, sums it up this way: “How you do anything is how you do everything.” And thousands of years before Eker wrote his book, an even more famous Book quoted Jesus as saying, “He who is faithful in small things will be faithful in large things.”
Do you know someone who cheats on their taxes? You can bet they are cheating elsewhere, too. Do they sweep dirt under the carpet at their house? They are sweeping dirt under the carpet in their life. And if they are spic and span in their homes, then their life is clean and orderly as well.
The man whose car I described above? He seemed caring and kind enough. Yet when I looked at his past, I saw that it was strewn with the wreckage of people devastated by their contact with him. He didn’t mean them any harm. He just treated the people in his life the same way he treated his car.
This insight cuts both ways. Yes, there are people who abuse their vehicles until they literally fall apart. And then there are people who are so picky about their cars that you wonder if they aren’t perhaps a bit over the top. That’s the side I weigh in on. My car is usually polished to a fine, swirl-free radiance. The inside is immaculate, and so is the engine compartment and trunk. To say I am a nit-picker is a bit of an understatement. While this is great for my car, it also suggests that I tend to subject everything in my life to extremely high standards. “Perhaps” impossibly high.
For true happiness, I suggest looking for someone near the middle of the spectrum of automobile maintenance. You know, someone who doesn’t run the white glove test on the hood of their car before taking off. And definitely someone who doesn’t wait until the pistons lock up before getting the oil changed.
This whole subject reminds me of the first “Look Who’s Talking?” movie, starring John Travolta, Kirstie Ally, and the voice of Bruce Willis. Mikey’s single mom (Alley) is dating different men, and mentally trying them on as Mikey’s prospective father. One, an aerobics instructor, was nit-picking the silverware in the restaurant at dinner, and complaining that he saw something floating in the water. Alley visualized him as Mikey’s father, going through his sock drawer and criticizing him for not color-coding his socks.
The next candidate took her to dinner, and began berating the waitress for not attending to them promptly enough. Alley visualized him as Mikey’s father, saying “How many times did we go over and over these algorithms? What are you, an idiot??”
It’s easy to see that car care is not the only way to get a glimpse of your future with a potential mate. Yet it is a quick and easy one. You don’t even have to go on a date!
All kidding aside, in the final analysis it all boils down to love. Whether it’s learning to love ourselves enough to lighten up on ourselves, or learning to love ourselves enough to treat the people and things in our life with care, it’s all about love. We are in the energy field (which is love) at all times. It’s just that we forget. As we awaken to love and begin to realize that we are love, we begin to be truly alive. And then it is reflected in everything we do.
However, the only one we can ever change is ourselves. And that means there will be people who come into our lives that we must bless with love and release in order to be true to ourselves. We can’t change them. We can only observe how they take care of their car, and act accordingly.
So as you drive down the highway of life and you see that cute guy, take a look at his car. If it’s a mess, do yourself a favor and keep on driving!
He seemed nice enough. Attentive, articulate, and definitely interested. Then I got into his car, and gulped. Papers everywhere. Junk in the back. And he drove it like he was on the last leg of his final journey: right into the ground, without the slightest thought of maintenance or care. Soon thereafter, it died an untimely death.
If you’re dating someone new and are trying to predict your future together, take a look at how they treat their car. You may wonder, “What does how he treats a hunk of metal have to do with how he will treat me, a human being?” A lot, actually.
T. Harv Eker, author of Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, sums it up this way: “How you do anything is how you do everything.” And thousands of years before Eker wrote his book, an even more famous Book quoted Jesus as saying, “He who is faithful in small things will be faithful in large things.”
Do you know someone who cheats on their taxes? You can bet they are cheating elsewhere, too. Do they sweep dirt under the carpet at their house? They are sweeping dirt under the carpet in their life. And if they are spic and span in their homes, then their life is clean and orderly as well.
The man whose car I described above? He seemed caring and kind enough. Yet when I looked at his past, I saw that it was strewn with the wreckage of people devastated by their contact with him. He didn’t mean them any harm. He just treated the people in his life the same way he treated his car.
This insight cuts both ways. Yes, there are people who abuse their vehicles until they literally fall apart. And then there are people who are so picky about their cars that you wonder if they aren’t perhaps a bit over the top. That’s the side I weigh in on. My car is usually polished to a fine, swirl-free radiance. The inside is immaculate, and so is the engine compartment and trunk. To say I am a nit-picker is a bit of an understatement. While this is great for my car, it also suggests that I tend to subject everything in my life to extremely high standards. “Perhaps” impossibly high.
For true happiness, I suggest looking for someone near the middle of the spectrum of automobile maintenance. You know, someone who doesn’t run the white glove test on the hood of their car before taking off. And definitely someone who doesn’t wait until the pistons lock up before getting the oil changed.
This whole subject reminds me of the first “Look Who’s Talking?” movie, starring John Travolta, Kirstie Ally, and the voice of Bruce Willis. Mikey’s single mom (Alley) is dating different men, and mentally trying them on as Mikey’s prospective father. One, an aerobics instructor, was nit-picking the silverware in the restaurant at dinner, and complaining that he saw something floating in the water. Alley visualized him as Mikey’s father, going through his sock drawer and criticizing him for not color-coding his socks.
The next candidate took her to dinner, and began berating the waitress for not attending to them promptly enough. Alley visualized him as Mikey’s father, saying “How many times did we go over and over these algorithms? What are you, an idiot??”
It’s easy to see that car care is not the only way to get a glimpse of your future with a potential mate. Yet it is a quick and easy one. You don’t even have to go on a date!
All kidding aside, in the final analysis it all boils down to love. Whether it’s learning to love ourselves enough to lighten up on ourselves, or learning to love ourselves enough to treat the people and things in our life with care, it’s all about love. We are in the energy field (which is love) at all times. It’s just that we forget. As we awaken to love and begin to realize that we are love, we begin to be truly alive. And then it is reflected in everything we do.
However, the only one we can ever change is ourselves. And that means there will be people who come into our lives that we must bless with love and release in order to be true to ourselves. We can’t change them. We can only observe how they take care of their car, and act accordingly.
So as you drive down the highway of life and you see that cute guy, take a look at his car. If it’s a mess, do yourself a favor and keep on driving!
