To Michael Jackson, who transformed our lives with music

Like most of us, I imagine, I feel an ache in my heart as I watch all the Michael Jackson videos from four decades of music, and listen to his incredible voice. Fascinated, I click on one news story after another about his life, his spending, his music.

Some at this time are inspired to ask: "What will people say about you when you are gone? Are you doing things that will make them praise you at your funeral?" To me, I don't care what people say about me when I'm gone.

I have another question: "Why is it that we shower people with love and appreciation after they're dead, and not while they're here?" Why are people flooding the streets at the Apollo to honor Michael, and buying CD's off the shelves like hot cakes, today? Why not yesterday, when it would have done him some good? (From the stories about his debt, he sure could have used it.)

I know the answer, though. It's human nature. I remember when my own mother died. In her lifetime, she had many qualities that annoyed me, and led me to avoid her. The minute she died, I forgot them all, and just remembered how cool she was. Why couldn't I have looked past my petty grievances in her lifetime, and just told her how cool she was, when she could have enjoyed it? That's what I ask myself now.

I am so moved, as I watch all of the incredible love that people all over the world are showing to Michael Jackson, now that he's dead. How much could he have used it while he was alive? How much did he suffer from the mass rejection he got later in life? You may say, "He deserved it." Yet now, we are all able to overlook it somehow and remember his extraordinary qualities and the joy he brought to our lives. Why did we let the flaws completely overshadow his brilliance?

There is nothing any one of us can do now for Michael Jackson, a lost little boy in a man's body. But there is something we can do for the loved ones that remain. We can forget our judgments and criticism and show them the love and appreciation that we have for them. What are we waiting for? Let's not hold back the good things we want to say to people, for fear that we will sound foolish or "corny."

Then, when your loved ones pass, you can look back and smile, remembering the joy you gave them instead of regretting things that might have been.