Making Sense of the Senseless

Problems are opportunities in workclothes.
Thomas Edison

When suffering through a divorce, it is easy to wish that someone else (like a new mate) would come along and "save" us. Going through trying times can be painful, and no one (least of all me!) enjoys them. Yet struggle is the opportunity God gives us to find our greatness, and this is amply demonstrated by this lesson from Nature:

A man is out walking one day and discovers a caterpillar tucked inside its cocoon. Intrigued, he takes it home with him so that he can watch the caterpillar become a beautiful butterfly. A few days later, he sees a small opening in the cocoon and watches, fascinated, as the caterpillar struggles to emerge. Try as it might, however, the caterpillar just can't seem to force its body out of the tiny hole.

Thinking there must be something wrong and wanting to help, the man takes his scissors and snips the cocoon open. The butterfly is freed immediately, its body large and swollen. Its wings, on the other hand, are tiny and shriveled. The man assumes that after a few hours, the wings will spread out into their natural beauty. But they never do. Instead of becoming the captivating creature that delights us all and symbolizes happiness, the butterfly is doomed to go through its short life dragging a swollen body and shriveled wings.

The struggle the butterfly goes through is Nature's way of forcing the fluid from the caterpillar's body into the butterfly's wings. Without the struggle, the butterfly will never fly. The man's act of "kindness" was in fact a death sentence.

It is the same throughout nature. For example, a diamond is simply elemental carbon, or coal. What makes a diamond the coveted, precious gem that it is, and coal a useful but homely rock we disdain? The same thing that makes a “man or a mouse” out of each of us; the ability to withstand heat and pressure.

Coal can withstand temperatures of 200-300 degrees Celsius. If the pressure or the temperature gets much higher, the host rock melts. Diamonds, on the other hand, are formed only under extreme geological conditions - when temperatures are greater than 800 degrees Celsius and pressure is 50,000 times atmospheric pressure. Such conditions exist only deep below the surface of the earth.

And so it is with us. No matter how difficult or painful the situation we are in, it is a necessary part of helping us grow into the unique person we are meant to be. The same is true for our children. In fact, when we continually bail our children out of their difficulties, we teach them to believe they cannot solve problems for themselves.

So embrace your struggles. Don't look for the easy way out. No matter how far afield life seems to take you, this trip is necessary. Be kind and gentle and patient with yourself as you bravely face the lessons you need to learn.