Sounds silly, doesn't it? And it is. It is said to make a point. There is a spectrum of medicine, and at one end it's perfectly wise to handle it yourself. Like putting a bandaid on a cut after cleaning it, or finding out natural ways to deal with the pain of arthritis.
But when it gets down to removing gall bladders, or open heart surgery, you're better off leaving it to the experts.
The same is true in any profession. I remember when I first got divorced. I thought that I couldn't afford to take my old car to a bump shop to get the rust removed and repainted. So I decided to "do it myself" (even though I had absolutely no experience in it). I bought a can of red paint-like material, that was supposed to instantly turn the rust into metal again. Then, all I had to do was reapply the sky blue lacquer paint that was on the car, and I was all set. Right?
Wrong! First of all, the red paint-like material did NOT turn the rust into good metal again. It turned it into rusted metal that was now bright red! Not very subtle on a sky blue car. So I decided I'd just do a little sanding. And I did, by hand, until my fingernails were right down to the quick.
That started what turned out to be a 3 month long ordeal. Me, alone in the garage night after night with a kerosene heater until 3 a.m. Sanding, priming, painting, screwing it up, then sanding, priming, painting, screwing it up...and sanding, priming painting...you get the idea (there is a reason they no longer use lacquer to paint cars!)
Finally, when all else failed I took it to the experts. A collision shop, that sanded, primed, and painted it good as new in a few days. I gained a lot of respect for the trade in those 3 months. And I learned something about leaving it to the experts.
Today, some people who are getting divorced have decided that they can't afford to hire a lawyer. So they are going with the "do-it-yourself" sites online, that prepare documents for you after you answer a list of questions. They work great; if you have no kids, no support questions, and no property.
If you do have any of these, however, they don't work so great. (Think of me with my car. I could have handled a touch up on a scratch or two, but major rust removal...no way!) I was talking to a family court judge this morning, who said that one judge on the family court bench was so fed up with the "pro se's" (people who do their own divorce cases) that he asked to be transferred to the criminal division just to get away from them! Why? Because these people come in with their filled out forms and absolutely no idea of where to go from there. Where to file, how and when to serve the documents, what else is required, what rights they are giving up, even what the terms on those documents mean! And they expect the judge to play "lawyer" for them both and coach them through.
Folks, these judges already have enough on their plate without becoming attorneys to the people who appear before them (and, which side would they represent?) Give this some thought if you are considering filing for divorce. There are less expensive, less stressful ways to end your marriage than hiring two lawyers to "duke it out" in an all-out court battle. (See our website for suggestions.) For goodness sake, with something as important as a relationship you thought would last forever, don't cheat yourself of a proper ending by trying to do it yourself!
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